Perceiving other people in a horrible light can be extremely limiting and self-destructive. Calling people harsh and highly charged names can be a real pitfall.
Before labeling a fellow human as a “scumbag” or some similarly derogatory term, I suggest first considering:
1. IS YOUR CONFLICT AT THE LEVEL OF SCUMBAGGERY?
There are always degrees of annoyance. Not returning an email is not the same as embezzling a million dollars. Perspective really matters. Ask yourself on the “scumbag” scale of 1-100 where things really are.
2. ARE YOU THE BOY (OR GIRL) WHO CRIED “WOLF”?
The overuse of “scumbag” for every minor slight defuses its impact when eventually directed towards something major.
3. DOES NOT BEING COMPENSATED AS MUCH AS YOU WISHED MAKE THE OTHER PERSON A “SCUMBAG”?
Everything is a negotiation. Accept it, pass on it or haggle it.
But once you agree to something, how does it make the other person a “scumbag”?
4. ARE YOU CONFUSING ENTITLEMENT WITH BEING THE VICTIM OF A “SCUMBAG”?
You are entitled to nothing. No one owes you anything. You are not a victim. You get to pick and choose.
Just because you feel entitled to things doesn’t make those who don’t agree to give it to you a “scumbag”.
5. HAVE YOU REALLY COMMUNICATED WITH THE OTHER PERSON?
It is often far easier (and way less productive) to sit in the sidelines than to engage in diplomatic communication with someone you disagree with. Have you resorted to name-calling before you’ve even stepped up and sincerely tried to understand the other person’s perspective?
6. ARE YOU USING “SCUMBAG” AS A FORM OF SOUR GRAPES?
We all get disappointed by things.
Are you hiding from that realities by dismissing the whole thing as being for the better since the other person was a “scumbag” anyway. Sour Scumbagging is usually highly obvious and transparent to everyone other than the person doing it.
7. HAVE YOU REALLY LOOKED IN THE MIRROR TO DISCOVER YOUR OWN ROLE IN THINGS?
As the old expression goes, “when you point your finger at someone else, your four other fingers are pointed at you.” Rarely is a mess one-sided. Figure out your role in creating it. That self-awareness can do you a lot more good than wasting your time taking someone else’s inventory.
8. ARE YOU STEREOTYPING?
Check your own prejudices against people in power, in business, on the filmmaking side, people in the entertainment industry, people in show business and people who have achieved success.
Everyone is an individual. Are you lumping everyone together because of a pre-conceived bias?
9. ARE YOU OPERATING OUT OF LOVE/ABUNDANCE or FEAR/LACK?
When you put things through the filter that there is plenty, somehow there are a lot more positive opportunities and experiences in your life.
Someone living in love tends to see and experience a lot more humans and a lot less “scumbags”.
Fear, lack, negativity, resentment, cynicism, avoidance and anger are perfect breeding grounds for manifesting “scumbags.”
10. HAVE YOU BECOME A “SCUMBAG” MAGNET?
It is interesting how certain people keep feeling like they are surrounded by “scumbags”.
Why is that?
Is it that you are doing things to attract “scumbags”?
Is it that you interpret more things as being “scumbaggy”?
WHAT ARE YOUR PERSPECTIVES ON ALL OF THIS?
