Today I decided to look back at clients who, over the years, have decided, for a variety of reasons and circumstances, to fire me.
COMPOSERS WHO HAVE FIRED ME:
HOWARD SHORE.
ELMER BERNSTEIN.
ALAN SILVESTRI.
BASIL POLEDOURIS.
When a client entrusts me with their career and then leaves it stings. The degree of that hurt can vary greatly.
MORE COMPOSERS WHO HAVE FIRED ME:
JERRY GOLDSMITH (temporarily).
HENRY MANCINI.
CHRISTOPHER YOUNG.
PHILIP GLASS.
The composer/agent relationship is exactly that… a relationship.
When things go south there are usual a complex set of dynamics at play from both sides.
From my end, I have been fired for a wide range of reasons, including my misreading of situations, my insensitivities, my not following up on commitments well enough, my loss of interest, my arrogance, my inattentiveness, my immaturity, my inexperience, my distractive nature, my lack of empathy and many other flaws of character.
EVEN MORE COMPOSERS WHO HAVE FIRED ME:
RACHEL PORTMAN.
MARCO BELTRAMI (temporarily)
JOHN OTTMAN.
GRAEME REVELL (temporarily).
There can be feelings of personal failure when a relationship ends. How did I let that happen? How did I let that person down?
YET EVEN MORE COMPOSERS WHO HAVE FIRED ME:
TREVOR RABIN (temporarily).
DAVID NEWMAN.
MARCELO ZARVOS.
JAN KACZMAREK
When let go there can also be the fear and shame of what others will think. Will I be perceived as less? Will my powers and clout be diminished? Will my competitors pounce on my setbacks?
YES, EVEN MORE COMPOSERS WHO HAVE FIRED ME:
DON DAVIS.
BRUCE BROUGHTON.
NICOLA PIOVANI.
TERRANCE BLANCHARD.
There is a temptation to justify and defend yourself. What’s wrong with that other person? How am I better than them?
ANOTHER BATCH OF COMPOSERS WHO HAVE FIRED ME:
STEWART COPELAND.
RICHARD GIBBS.
MILES GOODMAN.
ERIC SERRA.
It is easy to fall into an obsession about the loss. Much time can be devoted to replaying every detail over and over. What is it I did? Why did they do that?
MICHAEL NYMAN.
NICK GLENNIE-SMITH.
MARK SNOW.
DEBORAH LURIE.
Another reaction can be anger or feeling like a victim. How dare they? What an ingrate! After all I have done! This isn’t fair. I can’t believe this is happening to me!
QUITE THE LIST!
Putting together this partial list of ex-clients wasn’t easy. Not because it was too painful. But because, in all honesty, it was hard to remember since I rarely think about it.
Looking back at the last thirty years of my career I realize:
I get knocked down. A lot.
Not because I am a loser or a victim.
But because I keep stepping back into the ring and picking myself back up when I’m knocked to the ground.
So, how do I do that:
1. GRATITUDE
I got to work with these people Sometimes for years, others for decades. I cherish the good times we had together. I learned so much from each of them.
2. PERSPECTIVE
I am not defined by any one composer or even as an agent. My life is a tapestry. The comings and goings of people in and out of my life help make up that quilt.
3. PRAGMATISM
I have never wanted to represent more than a few composers. When someone leaves it frees up time and energy to devote elsewhere.
4. UNDERSTANDING
People come into my life for different reasons: Some for a season, some for a reason and some for a lifetime. All these relationships matter.
5. INTENTION
I intend to be happy. That creates limited space in my life for bitterness, anger and resentment.
6. EVOLUTION
Only change is a constant. Life is lived in chapters. Certain relations belong in certain chapters. Then things evolve to get us to the next part of our lives.
7. REFLECTION
There is a reason the rear view mirror is much smaller than the windshield. Quick glances to where you have been can be useful, but the much more important point of view is towards what lies ahead.
8. SURVIVAL
I grew up with a terminally ill brother and a mentally erratic mother. And I refused to get caught up into the quicksand of those dramas. I coped with lots of soundtrack listenings and escapes to Disneyland.
9. OPTIMISM
My whole life has been a magical journey. Why ever assume my future isn’t going to be any less enchanted.
10. WHAT’S THE ALTERNATIVE?
Shit happens. What are the alternative ways to deal with it? I’m not really interested in paths that lead to negativity or resentment.
As the great poet Elsa said, LET IT GO.
Or
In the immortal words of Poppy Troll, GET BACK UP AGAIN.
