STOP TRYING TO CONTROL THE MINOR DETAILS AND ACTIVATE THE BIG ONES.

I once dated an actress. Like so many others, she was struggling to move her career forward.

I would try to offer the same piece of advise. Here is how that exchange would typically go:

Me: GO OUT AND MEET PEOPLE IN THE INDUSTRY EVERY DAY.

Her: BUT I NEED A NEW HEADSHOT

Me: YOU ALREADY HAVE HUNDREDS OF OLD HEADSHOTS YOU NEVER GAVE OUT.

Her: BUT THAT WAS WHEN MY HAIR WAS SHORTER.

Me: YOU REALLY NEED TO GO OUT EVERYDAY.

Her: BUT I HAVEN’T UPDATED MY WEBSITE.

Me: VERY FEW PEOPLE GO TO YOUR WEBSITE BECAUSE YOU AREN’T MEETING THEM TO PEQUE THEIR INTEREST IN YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE.

Her: BUT I THINK I NEED TO TAKE THIS OTHER ACTING COURSE.

Me: CAN’T YOU TAKE CLASSES AND STILL GO OUT EVERYDAY?

Her: I’M THINKING OF CHANGING MY STAGE NAME AND MAYBE I SHOULD WAIT UNTIL AFTER I DECIDE.

You can imagine this conversation taking place over and over.

I finally stopped when I realized that going out and pushing herself was scary and the results were out of her control.

Fiddling with headshots and websites and her name or taking more classes were things she could control.

They also made her feel like she was being proactive in her career despite the fact these actions were taking place largely in a vacuum without the exposure and risks involved in going out and rubbing elbows and being vulnerable to rejection.

My advise: Get out of your head and into the world. The minor details will sort themselves out.