We all have complex and interesting relationships with money. They are frequently informed by our parents’ attitudes and stories about it. We sometimes follow their mantras and we sometimes rebel against them.
Here are some of the details about my relationship with money. Pick and choose what is of value to you:
1. I HAVE NEVER REALLY CARED ABOUT MAKING MONEY. For me, money is a pleasant bonus feature of doing things I want to do for other reasons.
I have always assumed if I was doing something I loved with incredible passion and drive, I would be compensated by getting to do something I loved. THAT is the reward. Additional dividends are acquiring knowledge,experience, relationships and much much more.
Somewhere in all of that, it is often the case that money also flows towards me as a result of having my eye on the right, non-financial prizes. What a lovely, extra byproduct.
2. I LOVE SPENDING MONEY.
In many ways, I don’t even think of it as my money. I am just part of the cycle of giving and receiving/giving and receiving/giving and receiving over and over again.
I started life as the child of two public school teachers who made very little.
However, my dad would take me to Goodwill and 3 other local thrift shops EVERY weekend letting me buy all the records and books and toys I wanted. He was such a big shot showering me with items that cost a nickle or a quarter.
My dad’s generosity made our home overflow with thousand of soundtrack albums and more toys and games than any of my friends. Sure they were all second-hand, but who cared?
My dad’s relationship with his paycheck was to spend it on his kids’ joys and passions.
3. I WANT TO BE THE ONE TO ALWAYS PICK UP THE CHECK.
For me it eliminates the need to focus on who ordered what and haggling about the tab.
I have psychologically built into my brain that all meals are paid for by me. That started back in the days when the meals were at McDonalds.
I love treating and I love not even thinking about it.
For me, the luxury of not having to spend a moment of my life on splitting checks is one of my favorite things.
The cost of living the way I like has picking up tabs as one of the budget items.
4. DEBIT IS A TOOL TO INVEST IN THINGS I WANT.
You would be hard pressed to find a business that does not go into tons of debt to start up. I have big dreams and that involves big investments, risks and gambles. And lots of those show up in the form of debit.
I would MUCH rather being doing things I believe in with the possibility of having to finance them on credit than considering NOT doing them.
It is also rare that early ideas get funding early. I am the one with the ideas in my head. No reason for anyone one else to pay for my dreams when they are still proof of concept.
5. PEOPLE ARE GOING TO OVERCHARGE, TAKE TOO MUCH, DO PETTY FINANCIAL THINGS… AND I AM GOING TO WILLINGLY EAT IT.
In retail there is a term “shrinkage” to cover the cost of things stolen by customers and employees. While those things aren’t cool, they are very much a part of the cost of doing business.
I would MUCH rather focus my time and attention on doing things I love (and profiting from them) than worrying about double-checking every bill, haggling every cost, fretting about every little attempt to rip-me off.
I didn’t get rich by eliminating “shrinkage.” I did it by doing things that yield a lot more.
I simply do not have the bandwidth, nor interest in sweating the small financial stuff.
5. MONEY HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH MY VALUE.
The measures of my value has so much to do with how I feel about myself and how I relate to others. Getting paid a higher or a lower amount is just about money. It isn’t about me.
I just got off the phone with someone who wanted to talk to me about how much to pay me for something.
I wasn’t that interested in how much he wanted to pay. I was listening for how much he values my contributions.
And since we focused on that and he made his appreciation of my services quite clear, I am content with that.
For me, that was the primary measure of my “worth” to him.
And, I can bet you, as a result of that, he will undoubtedly be paying me more than I would have gotten if I had, instead, approached it as a financial negotiation.
6. POOR HAPPY PEOPLE BECOME RICH HAPPY PEOPLE. MISERABLE POOR PEOPLE BECOME MISERABLE RICH PEOPLE.
Money does not change your happiness.
I can ALWAYS predict how well someone is going to adapt to their new-found successes by how they were BEFORE the success.
If anything, miserable poor people get SUBSTANTIALLY more miserable when they strike it rich. Their notion of “I would be happy if…” gets torn apart when the “if” occurs. Once they have money, they are stuck with the sad question, “Now, what’s my excuse?”
7. PEOPLE KNOW WHEN YOU ARE ABOUT THE MONEY.
You can’t hide it. It follows you like a cheap perfume.
8. MONEY COMES AND MONEY GOES.
Life is long. There are ebbs and flows. Inhaling and exhaling are both part of breathing. So will be the numbers on your ledger if you are living life to its fullest.
9. YOU CAN ALWAYS START AGAIN TOMORROW.
They got rid of debtors’ prisons years ago.
The worst that can happen is you make a spectacular financial belly flop.
You won’t die.
You will wake up the next day. And you will either dwell on your setback, or you will pick yourself up and come up with a new approach.
10. MONEY IS FUN.
It really is a game. Enjoy it.
Looking forward to hearing your thoughts.
- Image Source: Sergey Sundikov/Bigstockphoto.com