Since I was Miriam Mayer’s guest at the Emmy event a couple of nights ago, when I saw her recent post I felt bad so I reached out to see if there was anything I could have done that I didn’t. I was very relieved to hear that “I was part of the solution, not the problem” but it made me think, what can us guys who want to support our fellow composers in similar situations do better? So in consultation with Miriam we came up with these 10 tips.

1. Introduce her as a composer.

2. If she does multiple things make sure you introduce her as a composer FIRST!

For example: This is my friend Jane, she’s a wonderful composer and orchestrator.

3. Don’t just talk about yourself, make sure you leave space for others to jump in the conversation.

4. Direct questions to her so she can speak up for herself.

For example: What have you been working on lately? What’s your connection to this event?

5. Talk up her talents and strengths

For example: Jane has a real gift for melody

6. Bring up her accomplishments.

For example: Jane just won best score at the LA Independent Film Festival for a short she scored, what was that film called again?

7. If she’s not participating in the conversation because it’s veered away, try to bring her back into it by directing questions to her.

For example: Do you know so & so? Or what do you think about such and such?

8. Don’t ignore her when you’re in a group.

9. Don’t comment on her looks or what she’s wearing. While you may intend it as a compliment you’re unintentionally focusing on the superficial instead of what matters.

10. Try to imagine how you’d want someone to treat you if the situation was reversed and do that.

Furthermore, if you’re ever in a situation where you discuss a fellow composer who happens to be a woman, don’t refer to her as a “female composer” just say “composer” nobody says “male composer” so let’s not say “female composer.”