I am wondering if there are any women composers in this group who are also mothers. As women composers, especially those of us who are married or in a long-term relationship, I feel we are taught/ instructed to choose between a demanding career that takes a lot of our time, and becoming a mother which is also extremely time consuming . I feel that sometimes there’s a stigma attached to women composers who would like to have a child someday, as if it takes away from their commitment to their career or decreases their level of creativity (you know the expression ‘mom brain’ which reveals a lot about what the general public wrongly thinks of mothers). The norm/expectation seems to be to give up the idea of having kids altogether if you want to *really* succeed (although I do know of a couple very successful and inspiring film composers who are also mothers, Lesley Barber being one of them).
Since I don’t have children, I’ve been curious about this and I’d really like to know more about your experience as a composer who’s also a mother, and if you feel your productivity decreased or if you lost opportunities because of your new family situation (or if what happened is the opposite!) Was it a difficult decision to become a mom? Did having a baby throw off your routine, especially at the beginning maybe? Did composing become even harder once the kid started moving around? Did you have to hide your pregnancy (or baby!) from your clients? Did you seek out a support system that helped you be on track and not get too immersed in your child’s life and lose yourself? Did you face any weird looks while attending festivals with a baby bump? Any inspiring success stories out there?
I feel this topic is rarely addressed and is almost a taboo in some circles, and although I know many composers are fathers who are active in taking care of their kids, I feel that the stigma is only attached to women when it comes to having to choose between / balance family and career.