POOR COMMUNICATIONS: A PERSONAL EXPERIENCE

I normally pride myself on being a fairly good communicator. My recent post about diversity was a poor example.

In hindsight, by bringing up the issue within the context of a specific show, I realize it could seem like an attack of that particular concert (and even, by extension, the composer, the musicians and the creators of the show).

MAKING ASSUMPTIONS RARELY WORKS

Making an assumption that everyone would already know of my admiration of Lalo Schifrin, the performers and producer Robert Townson, allowed me to skip over bringing those factors into the conversation.

By NOT doing that, it caused its own, unintended distraction from what I was attempting to communicate.

By thinking, this isn’t really about the music or content of this particular concert, it allowed me, in my mind, to bypass acknowledging those things while still referencing this particular concert. This created mixed messaging.

And it had the VERY unintended consequences of seeming like I was criticizing or attacking people I adore. (I particularly apologize to Sara Andon and Robert Townson for unintentionally raining on your joyful parade).

TONE MATTERS

Also, communicating hyperbolically is sometimes an effective form of getting a point across. But not always.

Here, I made the mistake of using the wrong approach and tone considering the sweet and heartfelt nature of the event I used to illustrate a point.

A mismatch of tone can destroy effective communication

BEING TOO SPECIFIC
I also communicated poorly by bringing up a charged issue like race in a context that was too specific and therefore, unintentionally, too much about the specific and not enough about the broader.

A finger pointing at the moon can sometimes become about the finger and not the much larger issue if you put too much focus on the finger.

KEEPING EMOTIONS IN CHECK
Another aspect of communicating poorly is bringing personal, fresh and raw emotions into a vaguely related situation.

The Vegas massacre this week hit extremely close to home emotionally. On a personal level I was not personally ready to objectively be entertained by images of gun violence.

That personal tangent really had nothing whatsoever to with the primary issue being raised of diversity.

By raising it within that context it, understandably, confused and diluted the conversation. And it made it too specifically about this particular show and not the wider issue trying to be communicated.

DON’T POST WHEN PISSY
Sometimes it is best not to write when in a bad mood.

The proliferation of disturbing events last week put me in a particularly shitty mindset.

That is not a great place to be communicating from clearly.

TALK LESS. LISTEN MORE.

I have really enjoyed reading comments here criticizing my initial post. They give me things to chew on and contemplate.

Now I’m going to listen to Lalo Schifrin’s score to CAVEMAN to put a smile back on my face…