HOW NOT TO MAKE A SUBMISSION

I was just private messaged by a composer. Take a look at what he wrote and please share the reasons why this is probably not an effective way to make a submission:

Hi Mr. Kraft,

Please allow me to introduce myself. My name is [HIS NAME], I’m a composer based in [A STATE IN THE SOUTH]. As a member of Perspective, I just wanted to make a connection with you. If you have an opportunity, please check out my soundcloud page. [LINK TO SOUNDCLOUD PAGE].